i'm on the subway and being revisted by the ghosts of tequilas past.
He snuck out of bed at 9 am and came back with pizza and a bottle of wine. I think I'm in love!
Do you think I threw out my left shoulder during the keg stand or the stripper pole? It's medically relevant my chiropractor wants to know.
Just drank an entire bottle of champagne for lunch. It's gonna be that kind of semester.
it's a drink the shower water kind of morning ...
we're going to the olympic park to run the 100m yeaaaahhh
it's 3am. Nothing could possibly go wrong here.
His mom already thought we were lesbians BODY SHOTS WERE JUST NOT AN OPTION SORRY
Do you remember trying to make pizzas with the domino workers last night...while trying to speak their language with them.. spanish?
Just fyi there is a naked girl somewhere in your house. I woke up and she was gone, definitely left her clothes tho
I'm pretty sure I asked his brother if he was gay while drunkenly falling to the ground.
Well.. If you trust a test that only costs a dollar, I'm not pregnant
Taking care of a girl who just peed on my floor so tonight is not a good night for sex
Elliott peed on my floor and slept in it lol that's a one line description.
Ever had one of those went so hard last night you woke up at the foot of the bed naked wondering where your phone ended up?
I sort of feel bad for this orthodontist. The things that have been in my mouth in the past 12 hours aren't exactly socially acceptable.
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