We succumbed to passion, and then he had to go meet his girlfriend. End of story.
I hope the kids appreciate the fact that I jizzed on her instead of on their slide.
new revelation: five guys for breakfast
new revelation: previous revelation not a good revelation
she said she'd get any tattoo I wanted ... so she's getting a large crossword puzzle as a tramp stamp. I'm the Einstein of doggy style
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I can't wait. Forget the royal wedding. This is the most anticipated hookup of 2011.
You started an entire relationship based only on sex and emoticons.
Jesus these cramps...it's like every potential fetus I swallowed last night is personally punching me in the uterus
There's a bus with a band full of dancing women in bras. I think I like it here.
You don't know reunion panic until you've exfoliated your butt cheeks.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I went to a community college and majored in Bad Decisions. I'm not exactly a chick magnet.
Apparently my thong was thrown in the cornfield last night. No one will tell me why.
Pretty sure I love my nipple piercing more than I'll love my children someday
If Denver makes it to the Super Bowl I'll quit drinking. So I'm pretty much stocking up on booze
I think I got into an argument with my cat's former owner about what a BDSM relationship entails.
all im saying is 27 is too old to still be drinking 40s, you make more money than me, buy some decent shit
screw you you golddigging beer snob
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