Can I crash on your couch? I just came home to find my wife giving two guys blowjobs.
Two?
Two.
My place. Tomorrow Night. Bring your liver, and something for it to do.
Thats two for two birthdays where I've gotten the "alcoholism runs in the family" speech
yep. it's official. for $40 they will let you lick the stripper pole.
I'd like to say yes, but I nearly lost my shit when I assumed there was no back to my house. I am not strong enough for hallucinations.
At least I will not still be rolling when I pick up this animal. Thats a good development in five years
HELP THE ONLY THING THAT'S HELPING ME DISTINGUISH BETWEEN THE TWO OF THEM IS THE DIRECTION OF THEIR WINKY FACES OMFG
your fridge is broken, your sock drawer is full of snow, and you flipped off the whole stadium on the big screen. I'd say it went well.
Come to Des Moines on Saturday, handcuff yourself to me and drink a bottle of vodka
I'm drinking with a guy who apparently blew my dog sitter.
I wish more of my problems were easily solvable by taking a good long shit.
I wonder if go pro can customize a cock ring so I don't have to hold the camera anymore
Oohh. Then yes, he is the Alpha Fuckboy.
I came and sneezed at the same time. Words can't describe how awesome it was.
i out mim tonsoeep
Randomize
