wakey wakey hands off snakey
We played "race the Jimmy John's driver". Order, then see if we can finish sex before the food arrives.
i want to find a way to basically assault his face with my vagina.
Being the adderall dealer on campus, I feel responsible for everyone graduating.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Oh my god. My pre-date bowl for nerves tuned into "I'm too high for this date" he kept talking about trucks and I couldn't stop making racial slurs.
Yeah just got a blowjob at busch stadium during the cardinals game childhood dream realized
Excuse me hold on, hooking up with someone who is verified on twitter is like being important.
Hahaha it was a great moment in my life. This must be what post child birth feels like, given you don't get a combined asshole/ vagina
Speaking of gay, some dude in a life vest just goes, we should pull our dicks out! To larry. Were leaving now. I saw penis
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
how did operation slutty penguin go?
pretty epic. there was a guy who was also dressed as a penguin. i asked him if he would keep my eggs warm while i went fishing for the winter
Ended up getting hot boxed in a limo with a bunch of asians going to a karaoke bar. I think I pretended to understand their language for a solid hour. Am I bilingual now?
Dudes don't just lick butts of chicks they're not into.
Thought for a game. Duck, Duck, Grey Goose. If you're tapped, you take a shot. Then proceed as normal.
I'm hungover from the 8pm vodka and still drunk from the 5am beer.
let me assure you that a rugburn on your forehead is the worst side effect of tequila i have experienced to date.
Randomize