brittany murphy hurts far more than michael jackson, patrick swayze, etc because i never masturbated to any of those other people
They let me keep the giant cocktail glass because I threw up in it. And made out with the bartender. Europeans are so generous. I'm getting it engraved
I'm eating the rest of the Xmas shrooms and welcoming 2012 by communing with the pine cone.
I think it's starting to become crucial that I find a companion for my vagina.
The trick will be getting hammered before we get to the first bar
Challenge accepted
HIS BALLS ARE HEAVEN SENT FROM THE VELVET ANGLES.
Like I just asked Greg why I don't have a crown for my vagina. That drunk.
Walked in on my roommate covering his dick in blue frosting. Am staying with my folks for the Forth. See you Monday if the brain bleach works.
Im crossing my legs while on the toilet. It's like I'm unconsciously thinking "if im going to barf and shit at the same time, Im at least going to do it LIKE A LADY"
So I woke up alone in the hotel room clutching a bible to my chest. Explain, please.
she's throwing knives it scares me
update: broke ceiling. glass everywhere
Damn him and his beautiful face and body and penis.
You can come over but I have to warn you that it is naked Sunday.
You can’t judge a dick by its balls.
He fucks strippers and doesn’t have a life plan. Of course I’m going to regret this
Randomize
