11:03 p.m. Whats a lie i you lovn me. Let's cuddle.
what is with people arguing over soda or pop? to be honest i thought it was just called chaser
i actually have a tan line from him holding my boob while we were sunbathing
Just curious... Do you still have the cocks bracelet? You know, the one we pass around to whoevers been the biggest slut recently?
No our divorce decree will not have a blow job clause. Unless my alimony is greatly increased your bj's have been reduced to fantasy status.....
I think it got a little awkward for her when my dad walked in on us and did nothing except leave half of his pizza on the table for us.
I knew things were bad when I walked in on you feeding juice to your iPhone
I'm sports announcer narrating myself making a sandwich. Your weed wins.
dude this night sums up my single life. naked, crying, and covered in honey. i need to get laid.
I met her daughter,who I went to high school with on my way out this morning. She didn't seem to surprised. I love older women.
He keeps telling me he's gonna get me dope for my birthday. 1. HELP ME. 2. HOW IS THAT AN ACCEPTABLE BIRTHDAY PRESENT. Also, please HELP ME.
Apparently she broke up w/ her bf like 3 weeks ago. She actually called me to be her bday hookup cause she's single now. Patience- the virtue that occasionally pays off.
Note to self don't stop having sex during an earthquake! I call it a 6.1 orgasm!
I just set up a proportion to calculate how much Jolly Rancher vodka I can make with the limited amount of Jolly Ranchers I have. Finally, real-life application of math.
Made it to my hair appointment on time, and got some dick. Today is already a great day
Randomize
