I'm playing a drinking game with nyc prep. This will not end well for meeee
Everytime the gay dude pretends he's not gay, drink a cosmo. Everytime the crosseyed girl is crosseyed, kill her
She went to the bathroom before i broke up with her so i changed all 2500 of her songs on her computer to "I'm a cheating whore"
Wednesday. Otherwise known, to you at least, as "there are two gay men in my bed" day.
hey watch out, they threw flour on everyone who passed out at their party last year.
WHY ARE YOU SMOKING WEED WHEN YOU JUST HAD A STROKE. AND MORE IMPORTANTLY WHY ARE YOU DOING IT WITHOUT ME.
Whiskey and I have a long and stories tradition of excellence
I hit a child with a fudge sickle from a moving vehicle after he flipped me off, I feel like a God. Tell no one. My partner didn't see it.
omg he is no good in bed, bless his little heart and his big dick
There's just something so liberating about drinking a beer with no pants on
the sex was good. her showing me pictures of her 4 year old daughter afterwards was not.
I told him no rough stuff and he immediately bit my ass. Who the fuck does that?
We couldn't leave for the bar until he spent 10 minutes adjusting his vaporizer. I want to drown him in beard oil.
Well, I hope you're having fun. I'm just gonna lay here and wait for death - shouldn't be long now.
At one point I believe I was despencing medical advice while wearing a sombrero and a hulk hand
He looks like Aladdin, and that's about all he's got going for him.
Randomize
