He went through and tagged himself on my crotch in all of my facebook pics
you're kinda like the weird girl from The Breakfast Club after the makeover. i mean you're pretty, but you're still weird as fuck
yeah. pants. i need to put pants on. i didn't do that last night. big mistake
He said I was like bonnie and clyde all rolled into one but twice as trashy and 75% less clothes...
He obviously understands you completely.
I have now hooked up with 8 of the Apostles. I have no idea where I'm going to find a guy named Bartholomew.
Literally been drinking for 10 hours. Hammered. Roasted chestnuts fell out of my shirt earlier.
I have invented a new sport: freshman-watching. I'm sitting on our porch literally dying watching the freshmen run around trying to find parties
The Vegas crew is in two groups, Team Vodka and Team Fireball. There is no winner in this.
dont iron anything. we fucked on the ironing board. details to follow.
It's 3:30pm, I've been out of bed for an hour and spent most of that barfing. We're switching to beer next debate.
My code for I need help will be if I'm holding a bud light lime..
Pro: She likes to masturbate to 50 shades of grey. Con: She reads 50 Shades of grey non-ironically.
I don't know if you've ever seen a group of 20 year olds reenact a rectal prolapse, but 'majestic' isn't really the word I'd use...
Accidentally searched up "pizza pasties" instead of "pizza pastries". I was not disappointed.
I came so hard I went blind for a few seconds.
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