My milkshake brings 85 to 90 percent of the boys to the yard
I successfully cooked a taquito with a lighter! My stomach hurts now tho.. im either guna blame it on the undercooked taquito or im feeling guily about porkin my brothers gf a lil bit ago
i woke up convinced that my room was backwards i tried to go into the closet to get outta my room
im so bored in class... i just made a pie graph of my favorite bars and a bar graph of my favorite pies
he told me he saved a turtle in the middle of the road.. i told him id be over in ten minutes...i mean he deserves a bj after that.
A baby just go on our party bus. What. The. Fuck.
I had a great penis washing session in the sink before I left. Washed off all the bar and green beer
he got everyone in a room, turned off the lights and started throwing knives at the wall. if you got hit, you had to drink...
Hey do you eat chocolate chip pancakes with bacon in?
DO NOT MAIL ME A PANCAKE
It's official. Those are now your come fuck me flipflops
he went down on me while I ate Oreos. I don't know what caused the orgasm.
Quick I need a sexy way to say "suck your balls"
I had to say goodbye to one of my fuck buddies last night. He's voting for Trump, we shouldn't be doing it anyways.
How was your night?
Fell down a flight of stairs. Went to a sex dungeon. Was approached by a man in a leather harness.
Why am I not drinking beer at 8:26am is the question
Randomize
