my vag is so smooth its legendary
its time to go be "that drunk guy nobody knows"....again.
She celebrated a negative pregnancy test by going out to Quizno's. I really don't understand her at all.
i swear to god even though i took those meds before coming here i did not hallucinate zulema silently throwing up into a breakfast burrito
Have you fucked anyone in the hospital yet because obviously this illness isnt worth it unless you do. I MISS YOUR HEALTH
Who wrote Most Moistest Dad on my chest and what the fuck does it mean?!?
I just made SCOTCHSICLES. no further info is necessary
Okay I shall begin. Thank you Swedish chef
Hurrfy smmurdshy burrfst!
That is the exact response I was looking for.
I think I just legit sprained my wrist from holding myself up while giving a blow J. God dammit come already
i hate going to her parties because i always know everyone there which means everyone knows my ex which means i wont get laid
and than he said 'I did amateur porn for a while' and I just knew tinder did not fail me this time
he was high. i was rolling face. we were both wearing grateful dead t shirts. at that point it's like we had no choice but to fuck
Some guy is in my phone as Pat McAwesome.
You were a hurricane of blowjobs and glitter makeup. You came out of the closet and took the house down with it
Was that before, or after strip tac toe.....
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