Call me Kermit cause I'm about to go piggin
Weird. Haha. I guess taking advice from batman is a good idea.
I turn the corner to find her walking in the front door in a tee-shirt, two different shoes and no pants. All she said to me was "I'm sad"
Apparently blazed enough to think that the sizzling meatballs in the pan were calling your name...Ssssteeeeeve
After he convinced me that my friend had died and come back to life, I decided I was having sex with him that night, and that I should lay off the drugs for a while.
She introduced herself as 'Ann the sober one.' Took me to a coat check and a lost and found. Then offered coffee and breakfast sandwiches. Turns out she's been paying her half of the electric bill running post-party operations.
I slept with a married guy last night and then broke my toe on the doorframe on the way out. I've never seen karma work so fast.
So, I was thinking... Since this restraining order doesn't go into affect until monday, that leaves us 5 days to wreck his world.
Selling drugs in raindeer antlers is the best way to spread christmas cheer
Someone want to explain the bottle of ranch I found in my pants
The strip club incident sums up our friendship pretty well
Just got caught by my boss looking at porn on the work computer & he decided to utilize this time to look with me. Not sure if this is good or bad.
Remind me to tell you about this weekend with them. It was the least fun I have ever had drinking. And I have thrown up pork and beer through my nose on the side of the freeway.
he was wearing pj pants, thank you for not letting me go home with him
Only if I get to be Gritty
How would you be Gritty for a fantasy hockey league?
Don't worry about it.
Randomize
