Did you know nanny-cams work just as well for recording that blow job on the sofa?
The problem is he wears abercrombie jeans like there's nothing wrong with it
Best idea ever: Giving hobos a beer and having a chugging contest to win another beer. Most fun I have had downtown in a while.
I was so high I thought there were pigeons in my room. Long story short there are now donut crumbs all around my bedroom.
I opened a jar of Ragu so I could use it as a cup. You tell me how it's going.
you realize that if you hadn't mouthed "we're getting laid tonight", i wouldn't have woken up with your ex this morning. just sayin
She was giving you that "I really want to blow you but I have to act professional" look. Guaranteed
I was taking a bath while he walked in, sat down on the toilet, and said "its like a baby, I can see it crowning."
From time to time I think I'm happy for a second and then I remember how a guy stopped me from giving him head on my birthday weekend.
i just wrote an ode to an enchilada dorito. i'll need that pregnancy test now please.
I want a MapMyFart App, where I can mark every spot where I have ripped one. Like here.
I agree though, his intact virginity is truly the tragedy of the century.
Guys, as my favorite vagina consultants I have to share something.
My professional advice is not to put lemons in your lady pocket.
My intervention, when it happens, should have vanilla cake....buttermilk icing.
Emergency thong? Check! Suspension bondage is a go!
Randomize
