So she couldn't stop dragging her teeth while she was blowing me.
Ahh dude, that fucking sucks, what'd you do about it?
Decided to drag my teeth while eating her out... She got the point.
You just compared our sex life to a seven year old kid.
how do you have sooo much energy?
billy mays threw in a lil somethin extra when i ordered some oxiclean last week
i bought a pregnancy test with dimes. Is that trashy?
Why did you put hummus in my pillow case?
i just sat down and hooked up with this girl. after she left i called over another girl and did the same. this happened about four more times and i never left my chair
I had to carry you down because your legs weren't moving anymore but you were carrying the weights you stole from that guys room... and that's where the bruises came from.
He ate me out like a beaver on a tree. I've never been so scared in my life
I almost tried texting you with my pipe. Holy fuck this is good shit.
We're like adult pinky and the brain when they decided that taking over the world is unrealistic so they aim lower by trying to get drunk every day.
I need someone to play with my boobs. Even platonically. I just need a good groping
I mean, how am I going to build a relationship on trust if he finds out I roofied him?
I just walked by a dude at the gym covering himself in olive oil.
just had sex in the back of my high school auditorium #dreamcumtrue
What's a really polite way of saying "you have gravely overestimated the value of your vagina?"
Randomize
