Dude, way to rack up $80 in pornos in the hotel room last night, and not tell me before I got blindsided at check out.
Heh. Guess I ordered some porno last night. Heh.
why is it whenever you puke in the park there are always little kids on the swings?
still haven't packed clothes. only wine. gotta love spring break
So how do we make 4/20 better than every other day we are stoned?
Do you understand how much easier life would be if fannypacks were normal
A picture just appeared on facebook. I am puking in the toilet, you are next to me puking in the sink. I think we have our christmas card.
We were gonna play Truth or Dare but like 10 minutes in we decided to get naked and play Dare or Get the fuck out.
I lost my grandmas ring. Probably during the handjob.
the only consolation to the fact that i puked in public today was that i did it down a storm drain... so at least i am a responsible public puker
The pigeons can smell the fear
Wtf
in the future when you find clothing in your street, just assume it's mine.
is it too soon to tell him I'm available anytime for Christmas themed pity sex and I'll even wear a Santa hat?
I literally just told you I found out I masturbate in my sleep. I think we can be snapchat friends again
I look excited, but its just a facade.
We all love a big dick, but you’re going to develop a reputation if you keep asking every guy at the bar ‘how big your dick’
That’s all I’m saying
Randomize
