I'm holding in my pee so that I can hear "Cowboy" in its entirety on the radio
i just made out with my boyfriends father...and so did jess
Sorry you had to hear me puke. I didn't know I called you. Was it graceful?
If I say "It's good enough" and I'm not talking about a sandwhich, that's your queue to stop me, you're supposed to be my friend.
i cant get the smell of ass out of my nose
dude, seriously he just sucked the milk out of the dogs breast and swallowed it... for $20, wtf....?
Ya after that i took a dump on a car... We're definitely partying with him again
He took me to the bathroom in the gay bar to "just cuddle." Fool me once, shame on you. Fool me twice...well...
broke the door off of my fridge tryin to have a indoor rodeo
time for you to cut the loving, understanding, non-judgmental crap and say/do whatever it takes to make sure I never, ever, ever sleep with him again ever
She spilled creme de menthe on her crotch and I told her she looked like a menstruating Vulcan (costume idea!). Obviously, I went home alone.
How much do souls cost? I feel like I need one if those.
cake and sex. what better combination is there.
I let a drunk straight girl spank me with a metal paddle at the bar tonight. Remind me to never do that again.
is it sad that the highlight of my saturday night was waiting till 3 in the morning to hear about your saturday night?
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