My place. Tomorrow Night. Bring your liver, and something for it to do.
he was fingering me to the beat of a lady gaga song. new high? new low? i don know, but i came, so whatever.
God, you're like boner-b-gone
God forbid we drive unregistered mopeds without license plates on a pedestrians only sidewalk without goggles while flipping off passing cars.
She wont be able to take it all. I'll use a shoe horn to get it in if I have to.
Does hooking up with the gay pledge count as hazing?
Believe it or not I'm actually not the only person sitting in the back of the train covered in glitter and drinking whiskey out of an arizona iced tea can. Small world.
I sent him a naked picture of me with the caption "I lost at beer pong, this was a dare. Hope your nights going as good as mine" I've never talked to him in my life, this is a strange way to start.
I was just too high to be in rapids man. I just screamed for the entire time I was jostling about.
My roommate is either deadlifting a bus or having sex. I can't tell which
Btw, do you want me to fix this with a box of wine and a chick flick or is this more of a 'lets head to the strip club' problem? I'm just trying to analyze the emotional depth of the situation.
came home to a trail of roses from the door halfway up the stairs. but my nonsingle roommate lives downstairs. idk if they celebrated on the stairs or if some girl tried to woo me last night and i don't remember
BTW, you ever shave a dick into my dog, I'll cut you. I'll laugh first, but then I'll cut you
Sorry your girlfriend got you a valentines present and you forgot to get her one.
How long will your dick be dry?
No, he came home, unscrewed all of the lightbulbs, and threw them in the sink.
Randomize
