Hey its my first time.
I think you mean "it's my first time"
that was a gay-test. you passed.
with flying rainbow colors i hope!
the number of months ive had a girlfriend in my life divided by the number of blowjobs ive gotten is extremely depressing...
If your still trying to figure out the moment I stopped caring; it was the point in which you said "I really wasn't sure whose baby it was"
I'm going to show my kids 2 girls 1 cup just to scare them away from porn
He gave Paula abdoul a run for her crazy
you know, even black out drunk I can always remember the exact point where I should have stopped drinking.
she said we were using the spray butter as air freshener
i had to take off my light up shamrock necklaces, my professor was getting suspicious.
She's cute. And her snoring noises remind me of the incidental music from Jaws.
I woke up at 4 am to a guy curled up in the fetal position sobbing in our front yard. Oh college.
In the middle of pounding my asshole he stopped and said, "do you want to get breakfast after this?"
I'm 80% sure I have pink eye. This is my penance for being a homewrecker.
Everyone else's "needs" are getting in the way of my alcoholism.
I’m turning 34 on Friday and I feel like the only thing I’ve accomplished in life so far is getting into pissing matches with clients
Randomize
