A squiggle pen was my first vibrator back when I was young. I would lock myself in my bedroom with that thing. Oh to be 8 again.
i realized boys travel in groups of 3's and girls travel in 4's..thats why it gets so tricky
like hot dogs and buns.
If you value my life, if you value your own, please look for that godforsaken cookie. Please.
All I need right now is some mouthwash, dignity, and security camera footage...
Dude when we asked him where he lived all he could tell us was "by the slurpees." That fucked up.
she has like 12 pairs of underwear people left at her house from the other night
I'm trying to ve beat feiesnd sent.
Oh god. I asked to "play his sexaphone" which I though was a super sex way to say "let me blow you". He fucking walked home at 4:30am
I came home wearing somebody's thong. If you're missing one message me privately.
You want to know how I feel? I feel like Cady Heron pushed me in front of a bus last night.
I made a joke about The Hemingway being a really boring sex position where you blandly describe all the action and then kill yourself after you orgasm. He stopped responding. I've GOT to stop talking to everyone like they're you.
All I need is $1,500, a beach ready body, a bigger dick & this will be the best spring break ever.
Fuck you, dude, I'm not sharing my weed anymore if you're going for the Panthers.
They are like the regular squirrels and we are flying squirrels
What has my life become? I'be officially recruited my fuck buddy for help getting my ex back.
Randomize
