TYLER... glimpse of last night: leather chaps, guacamole dip, a jump rope, spray paint, and rhinestone studded pajamas.
i think you have the wrong number... but your story sounds delightful.
idk why but i just wanna to have sex with the idea of him. i don't even wanna meet him.
so we were having anal, both very very drunk when he started shouting his roomates name
why didn't you say something constructive like "stop chugging that vodka"?
We thought you were crowd-surfing until we realized it was the bouncers throwing you out
ME TOO. Am adrunk madr out qith. White guy. Guy de white. Blanco chico. Chico de blanco
i don't know if this is a cannibal joke or a sexual innuendo, and i think that's a beautiful description of our relationship.
You just get me....like our souls are boning in the spirit world
Snaps to my Ella Fitzgerald station for such a jazzy walk of shame
Also if i get drunk and start crying about the elephants you all have my permission to abandon me.
Sorry you felt insulted last night let me rub your butt in remorse
just passed the gas station where we took pregnancy tests. memories.
lets go to sea world and you can just hit on every guy in a wetsuit until you get lucky
I refuse to be socially acceptable any longer than what is needed to pick up chinese food.
He asked me how flexible I was and all I could think about was that time I threw my back out putting in a tampon.
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