Raging hang over. 6AM finish. Shat on a bag of trash in an alley. D L that last bit.
I can see my step sister's thong. Don't know if I should let myself be turned on or not
Its piss that you smell... I borrowed that shirt last week. Sooo, wanna grab some laundry soap on your way home? And good luck on your date.
I've never played a more sexually-tense game of Uno in my life.
I'm making you a bingo card for hookups of the school year 2011-12 so you can make even worse life decisions next year
Its the anniversary of our epic NBA All-star game weekend. The night the two of us cashed a 30-pack while watching the dunk contest
Well I could just do a roadtrip and hit them all. Slut tour 2012.
Haha yeah that's basically it. He was like "i've always had a thing for you, and even sober i still would do and feel the same way." so glad to know i am worthy of a sober hookup as well.
New found love of volunteering, when there's free wine available at all times. Good times. And I get to to feel good about helping people.
My jeans are ripped and her glitter was all over me.. My walk of shame looked like I fucked a unicorn last night
He has a bed frame and a headboard.... That match his dresser and nightstand...
Hahah. That's good.
I feel like you don't understand the severity with which this weirds me out...
I will show up on your front porch in a wet t shirt and some mac and cheese
I just quoted part of the Pokemon theme song in a sext... And it worked
In other news, I tore a tendon in my hand from giving my boyfriend handjobs so that's how my day is going
Did I tell you about the swingers? Because I think they're trying to trap me.
Randomize
