The vibrating part of my dildo broke, now I have to rely on gyration.
Denial is the first step to alcoholism…and I don't hate it
you're like a bully in the Christmas story
I hate the awkward morning-after-I-took-your-virginity conversations.
ive decided something. ive accepted you as being gay. but i havent accepted you as a vegetarian yet.
Are you being sarcastic? I can't tell this time because you're in the hospital.
Gooodnight my beautiful sex angel. Much luvz for joo, etceteraz
I'll send you the picture of you double fisting vodka bottles, grinding one guy and making out with another... Every girl wanted to be you.. You make me so proud!
Hey girl, do you remember you made me brush your hair with a plastic fork on Saturday night?
My boobs are feeling quite sensitive so I told them, " you is smart, you is kind, you is important" that should do the trick.
We just took back to back grav bong hits and are playing battleship. She guessed Z - 12 so weve switched board games.
Nice. I like it when Maker's Mark makes decisions for you.
He told us a story about a time his 80 year old uncle karate chopped a dick in a glory hole.
Why is there a horse in the backyard?
I stayed at my gfs last night. This is all on you.
We are totally like Jim and Pam, except ya know, drunk and not together anymore.
Randomize
