OMFG, I'm seriously about to get fairly unpolite with this guy.
Wow. I bet he's shakin' in his boots.
Yeah like at least with a penis what you see is what you get with a vagina there can always be a surprise inside
I just used dish soap as body wash. I smell like a dishwasher exploded. isn't the end of the semester fun?
You drunk dialed me and told me to jump out of my second story window so I could give you head. I almost considered it.
I miss you more than I would miss junk food if I went on a diet. And you've seen me eat, you know how desperate I'd be.
it doesn't matter, he's just a life support system for his dick
Bad Decision October is in full swing. I was telling people that "I put on eye makeup today, I'm takin' a dude home with me!".
This 35 year old just told me that he was headed to the dance floor and it was about to get real dangerous......was that an invite?
We decided to keep having sex while I ordered the pizza. I wanted extra pepperoooooooooooooni.
How do you say "thats kinda illegal" in thai?
I slapped him but he didn't wake up. He just nuzzled my head, hugged me closer, and smiled.
who orders an old fashioned in 2014? even my Grandparents think you're an asshole.
I DONT HAVE A FUCKING JOB RIGHT NOW. DO YOU THINK I HAVE TIME TO WASTE GOING BACK AND FORTH WITH SOMEONE WHOS LYING, ABOUT LYING, AND JUST BEING A LIAR? HONESTLY, YES I DO HAVE TIME. BUT I HAVE A FUCKING LOT BETTER THINGS I COULD BE WASTING MY TIME DOING. LIKE ORGANIZING MY POKEMON CARD COLLECTION.
I think he may actually care that I call him slampiece instead of his real name. Who knew he had feelings?
Do you remember vividly describing the shape and girth of my cock to that girl last night?
Randomize
