Someones car got stolen, everyone is yelling, and im drunk just sayin yeah buddy over and over again
Its like fucking yourself in the head with a weed strapon
Um I just overheard that the new guy spent a month in jail. Obvi another great hire.
I sat on his lap and we shared a beer. I feel like that's an invitation to his dick.
I really want to title the album "I want to make sex with your face" but I also want a job someday. Temptations, temptations.
gpnpr hd vmdd nm the ggrl whm was mn my lar
I need you to use more vowels.
if i got ashes i think they'd burn a hole into my head with the amount of sins i've committed this year alone and it's only february
we gave you a glass of water and you just started yelling: TWO STRAWS, PATS AN ENGINEER HE'LL FIGURE IT OUT
Well yeah connect the two together, then you can lay down and drink.
OMG CHARGE YOUR PHONE I NEED TO KNOW IF THIS IS A GOOD PICTURE OF MY ASS
He's getting me an energy drink and said good morning beautiful. He must sense i'm cutting him off from the sex.
A stranger came up to me, pointed at my drink and asked what it tasted like and proceeded to chug half of it and then walked away.
I have bruises all over my legs. Did I hit a car with my bike last night?
If he thinks I'm canceling my orgy to coddle his stupid fucking behavior, he has another thing coming
He is married, and has a regrettably large penis. I need to find another one right away to get myself out of this mess.
How big does a penis have to be before it becomes regrettably so?
I was peer pressured into smoking weed by a bunch of LGBTQ teenagers
Randomize
