how the FUCK am I supposed to macarena while doubble fisting?
He left an unopened 12 pack of beer by my bed. I guess that's his way of saying thanks for the sex..
he kept whispering yes yes yes yes the entire 15 minutes. i almost wish it was a quickie.
I've been crying in my room listening to Billy Joel for 2 hours. Thank God Four Loko was banned.
you started looking at my couch laughing and saying to it "she thinks I'm talking to you" then proceeded to laugh and talk to the couch some more.
We now know how the night ended in arrest according to the flip camera I did 10 handle pulls and beer bonged a 40. My life choices are getting worse and worse this is your fault.
??I have an official piece of documentation saying you are banned from Las Vegas.
Do you want the fat one with an ok face or the skinny ugly one?
It doesn't matter as long as our shame is in tandem.
I have poison ivy on my dick
WHAT
GOVERNMENT SHUTDOWN NO RULES ICE CREAM FOR BREAKFAST woooo!
They're magnificent. It's like god made her last but hadn't fulfilled his boob quota.
So he came on my stomach this morning and I totally forgot about it until after you poured that body shot.
Well I can't be held accountable to know every which time you slid a finger here or slid a finger there. I'm way too busy getting close to climaxing to document these things.
You asked to borrow my glasses for a moment. Then you whipped them at someone's head.
There are way too many people I have fucked in this class for this not to be awkward
Randomize
