Maybe if i eat something filling like whole wheat pasta it will make me less hungry for things like dick
If I would have known that wiping my dick on her pillow would have caused her to leave........
The cops found weed in michael jacksons house today...it makes up for the child molesting, I like him more now.
you can SEE the outline of a pad through her jeans. there is no way
You cant carve pumpkins without vodka. It's a Halloween tradition.
I have decided that today will be all about indulgence and hedonism.
So we just accidentally broke into a building from the third floor while carrying shovels. The security guards are still very confused
Code 10 We gotta leave. Now. I took a dump in the upstairs toilet and its clogged and overflowing, and believe me I don't want to have to explain myself to this frat on parents weekend.
Ill go to bed but tamed sharks isnt so much of a bad idea. Not for riding
Names, who you're caught in bed with, both minor details
I just told the sun to stop. That hungover.
Tempting guys with beer and cheese. How Midwestern are we?
We aren't doing Shrooms tonight bc that would be friendship cheating on you
If my one night stand asked me to move in with him right after does it still count as a one nighter?
Happiness is laying in bed, topless, pouring 4 packs of hot sauce on your taco bell.
Randomize
