I have the sudden urge to buy a Snuggie and wear it to the grocery store.
so we told my parents we were going trick or treating. got high as shit at some playground. and then bought our own candy so we looked legit when we got home.
Just hide your weed in your baby brothers shirt. TSA wont check a baby, thats fucked up
It's a Lindsey's Going to Jail Theme party.
you almost dropped the shot glass then you thought you were such a hard ass for catching it that you slammed it on the table and broke it
Its only 9:11 and I just somersaulted through a window. Its gonna be a good night
Smoked all day yesterday and even more today. Just survived high dinner with mom and sister. Thought I might eat the whole table
After he finished going down on me he came up from under the covers, threw his hands into the air and shouted "take that lesbians!" and finished with "and we have dicks!"
Split a bottle of Johnny Walker and then decided to eat a shit ton of peanut butter. That was a rough bed to wake up in
I feel like I don't show you my boobs enough. And you deserve to see them like all the time
I was writing 'DISTRACTION' across my chest in Sharpie when my boob fell out. Right on camera.
he's such a nice guy...he deserves a bigger dick.
so i realized that he's only my physical relationship and beer is my emotional relationship...
I'm covered in jizz and the toll booth lady knew it
The economy cant be that bad, I willingly got fired to bang her again.
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