Is it awkward that I've slept with every guy in this room?
Only if they know about it too.
hes 24 and dating a highschool junior and keeps saying how happy he is. happy about what? her ACT score??
reasons why jon gosselin is probably ur biological father: 1. ur half asian 2. hes everyones biological father 3. u wear ed hardy
sounds legit
He wore a Medeval Times crown while I gave him a BJ
You mean the girl who was passed out face down on the bathroom floor until 10 AM? You're right, she was cute.
And this is the part where I need you not to judge me. Remember that I have never seen a penis do that and that I have a weird sexual curiosity
What do you mean how did you end up there? You told him he had a face you'd like to ride, that's a deal sealer in any language.
I think the name vodka for a girl is amazing
your blue lips and tongue was their first indication you were probably underage
HEY THERE IS NO AGE LIMIT ON BLUE SLUSHIES
I need to stop going to bars and yelling "I could be teaching your kids one day, bitches!"
I made $130 by ordering two pizzas and charging them $10 a slice. If they weren't so stoned they might have realized they could have just ordered another pizza for $20.
Someone just knocked jenga into a plate of cake. I'm licking off each piece one by one.
OHMYGOD I LITERALLY JUST FINISHED JERKING OFF AND MY MOM BUSTS IN AND HANDS ME A BABY WHAT THE FUCK IS GOING ON IN MY HOUSE JESUS H CHRIST!
Is it just me or did we have a heart to heart talk while you were naked last night?
I got kicked out of the E.R. for saying "balls".
Randomize
