You litterally reached into some girls shirt, pulled out her tit and yelled whats up with this guy.
just fit an iguana in a condom...have pics
Let's make jello shots for tomorrow
What's going on tomorrow?
Nothing, it's Wednesday
I'm in the library if you wanna come give me library head.
There's a high school volleyball camp on campus this summer. I'm definitely going to jail.
It's not my fault I help girls realize they're lesbians.
I found a tip from a dart in my bra this morning
Tomorrow morning i will black in to find a christmas tree in my room that i dont remember how i got. I love college
we have to top last new years. except im not ready for jail. that can wait a couple years
Dude are you being arrested? I swear I just saw you laying on the hood of your car with a cop patting you down...
Well, that was my first dog walk of shame. Nothing says "I've got my life together" like an inside out shirt and a baggie full of dog shit.
"He was so not worth staining my backseat for."
I'm suffering a hangover from deep within. I feel like the half of the parts of my body are permanently laced with alcoholic substances
Also I feel I should tell you last night when I came home I fell into my laundry hamper and woke up in a pile of my clothes
i feel like doing his laundry was not included in the job description when we became fuck buddies.
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