I'm drunk in f*****g wisconsin and want to kill myself.
If it's any consolation, be grateful that you're not in New Jersey.
You know what, matt, a girl is not really that interested in a relationship if she goes down on you the first time she meets you
Whenever I'm sad I just imagine if babies were born with mustaches...
There's a hobo dancing by himself. Is anyone going to ask how he got in the house?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I wish Pampers made couches for people like us.
there's something so ridiculous to me about watching someone with glasses exercising. it's like watching a whore studying in the library. stop trying to be someone you're not.
The google font looked peculiar last night, but then up close I realized it was just dry vomit.
I peed in my sheets during a dream. Like straight up. A whole new drunk.
I thought it was a myth but I have just reached the age of sitting on my balls. Not a fan.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just blew my weed a kiss
God, please protect all woman from micro-penises
My Captain America poster fell down. Cap is disappointed in my life decisions.
Imagine the quality of nudes you could send with a selfie stick
I'm a lady who knows what she wants in life, and that's uncommitted dick.
she chased shots of jack with a fucking steak. i'm in love.
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