Who said anything about talking that was a booty call
I passed out in the cab. Woke up to the cabby yelling SIR SIR WE ARE AT THE TRAIN STATION!! SIRRRR!!
you alive?
ya, the episode of maury where people are afraid of things are on, i had to keep livin
you're single. I'm single. let's spend vday with the 3 most important men in our lives: ben, jerry, and josé
If fate has that penis in my future.....I'm down.
I don't even want to think what you did to boys being that drunk and horny.
Then I wouldn't suggest looking at the pictures from last night.
you went all the way to UK and still managed to hook up with someone from our highschool...
Between the walk of shame, bar fight, karaoke, injuries, number of bar check-ins, and variety/quantity of alcohols and Advil consumed, I'd say HookerFest 2012 was a raging success.
Why is there a condom in the dishwasher...
My period started right as he was entering, which really helped me sell the "I've never done this before" bit.
I AM OFFERING YOU ALCOHOL AND THE CHANCE TO LET ME SAY FUCK IT TO MY RESPONSIBILITIES. HOW MANY TIMES DOES THIS HAPPEN?!
She walks around topless and loves making sandwiches. That's how a one-night stand turned intoa relationship
I'm to the point where I'm fantasizing about Iron Chefs going down on me.
this periodpocalypse needs to be over. I need head
I just bought sparkling water with plan B. I am the most basic bitch to ever exist.
Randomize
