exactly what part of this weekend seemed like a good idea?
You were sitting at the bus stop holding hands with some Polish girl you just met, who was just as drunk as you were, and you kept trying to light your Kit Kat and smoke it.
We got blackout for the alumni dinner, and then walked THROUGH the keynote speaker, managing to still say "excuse me".
No, i know about the eggs and penis, the oh wow was for the fire
Where is my rescue team. I keep hiding shit. And I'm trying to give out shots of olive oil
After it was shut down sean literally made out with four separate girls between the 100 feet to our house. It was a rampage.
Dude imagine how many pictures of dicks Obama gets. That can't be unusual. Almost every kids in the US has written the president a letter.
Talking to friends parents while buying all the things needed for Jell-O shots. classic
she basically told me that her vine videos last longer that I do
I'm twenty nine years old, now is not the time to start trying new drugs. I need a hedge fund...not another drug-induced hangover.
I don't have the resources to adequately explain this. I need like a Powerpoint presentation and also Vodka.
I just masturbated while watching Say Yes to the Dress
This is what my life has come to
idk i was trying to watch Fuller House and you got up out of a dead sleep, just in your boxers, said "no more Dave Coulier" and walked out to the living room and unplugged the router
I think him and kristen are pretty serious now.. I dont think he cheats on her, anymore.
He sent me a picture of his cock that seemed to indicate that we were still on good terms.
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