i have a strong urge to join the asians in the park doing tai chi. I think im still high .
I told my new friends about my possible new chin. They said I should get my nose done first. Please tell me I'm pretty or something.
I envy you so much. I get girls who pee on my floor and you get girls who leave in the middle of the night
You know the party was great when the birthday girl gets arrested
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Drinking games this Saturday as usual although the ice cube tray game is banned due to last weeks incident
he knocked a glass of water onto my bed and then said that he should get to sleep on the dry side because he was "a guest"
It sounded like he said "don't stop" but all I could hear were his balls.
I only call her for sex and medical advice. She admitted she feels like a worried parent when her phone rings at 5 a.m.
Either I think of sex like a man, or all the men in Vegas are women.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just had the most intense bikini wax of my life, i felt like i needed guardrails
I hope so much that you got average or above average dick tonight because I wish you the best
He wore pink swim trunks on our date and repeatedly insulted my profession, but his cat kept standing up like a person to nuzzle my face and I felt like a Disney Princess. I hate this dude, but the cat is too amazing for me to not fake interest for.
Why did my mother make you get naked?
I really need to get a comfy set of masturbating shoes
i got my period today. mid walk of shame and im wearing a shirt that says stay classy. my life is a joke.
Randomize