TXT her NOW! The phone is actually IN her Va-Jay-Jay!!
I am at The Loft in SoNo, and there are two girls within arms reach that are making out with each other AGGRESIVELY. Like I can see 100% of a boob
For future reference, this is Trevors little sisters phone now. Trevs number is 484 XXX XXXX. Great story tho
this bucketlist has just become an excuse for me to be slutty, and i'm not even ashamed
she sucked my dick to get the taste of the last guy's out. I need to find a new friend with benefits.
Dude they are all farmers and I'm pretty sure there's a prostitute here.
The guy in front of me got in the club with his green card, that's awesome
Why does She think it's her duty to welcome in freshman through the welcome mat that is her vagina
Kristy will be communicating through my phone. Due to her current blood alcohol level, the laws of Pennsylvania, Erie county, and common decency have deemed that she is no longer permitted to have her own phone.
You went down on Rachel in front me last night. Worst. Brother. Ever.
And I'm still awake, and you left me. Like the guy on Jurassic Park, that jumped out of the car expecting me to save myself while there is a man eating T-rex ready to tear my ass apart except theres a mathematician and paleontologist there to save me because they are bad asses.
I like her. She smells like old lady but tastes like whiskey
All I remember is sitting on your kitchen floor and playing with a banana like it was a viking ship.
I mean, except for the part where I was vomiting up pineapple and hot sauce, it was a really fun time.
He was semi blacked out in the hallway with a bucket, calling for me while I had sex with his best friend in the very next room. Why do you let me do these things?
Trying to figure out these fractions. I bought 5 fifths of gin last week. Does that mean I have one whole gin? 5/5 = 1, right? You're having to homeschool your kids right now--so ask them.
Randomize
