I just watched a guy get turned down by a prostitute
so tomorrow. i'm thinking coinstar then adderall?
Neighbors just bought a new bong. Got high with them and we decided to name it "Gary colemans sweet sugarlumps" these guys are hilarious
Ya know, years from now when that kid is old enough, I'll get to regale him with the story of how I was his father's AND uncle's first gay experience.
I worked with a girl tonight that recognized me solely from a keg stand she witnessed me do sophmore year. Needless to say this made my night
someone just sent me a bong wrapped in christmas paper in the mail. signed 'santa'.
she bonged a coffee cause she was hungover. then she bonged a beer cause she got ambitious. then she barfed. then she had to start over again.
I woke up to find my purse full of puke, and all I could think was not again.
Its like he woke the dragon, and the dragon is hungry for a good dick.
You know you've got awesome issues when the main deciding factor of whether or not to cut your nails depends on nacho consumption in the near future
Note to self; if you can light it on fire, you probs shouldn't drink it
I have a 8 minute video of a fish tank on my phone.
We need to stop going to pet stores high.
Was it you that ate my bacon or do I have to rip my roommate's face off?
dude, shes trippin so bad. idk what shes on, she just told me she doesnt remember her name then proceeded to get in the shower clothed to try to "rinse off the high"
Your dick is the only reason I have motivation to come back to school today
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