So I have to go swallow an entire zebra. Ur on ur own girl.
isnt it creepy that our bodies make people
we turned his baptism video into a drinking game
she's sitting here naked with heels and a taco.
the taxi driver actually pulled over to let us moon a house full of people
As punishment for throwing up on my car, I am holding your phone hostage until the morning. You can read this message after I drop it off.
I just heard "I just let you finger me on Megabus, I clearly don't have standards".
you were trying to control your nosebleed while having someone hold your four loko while you drank it through a straw. all at the same time. that is commitment.
I get off at the next exit which doesn't have a shoulder, a guy is riding my ass so I cant stop. I think I got as much puke on his car as on mine.
So as I left the Australian's hotel room, I said "Welcome to America. You're going to do just fine here."
We boned on a bench in a park, french people were walking by cheering us on. Totally acceptable
I can't go to class, I have all this weed to sell
"my nose is broken but I'm beer pong champ so it evens out really"
On another note I am sitting in my bed naked, buzzed, and working on a notecard for my 8:00am test tomorrow. I think I need to make better choices.
It was a good hour of moans, penis compliments, smacks, and what sounded like someone running in flip flops
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