I'm pretty sure "Like A Prayer" will forever remind me of drunk nights & pants down around the ankles
we seriously had to hang a plastic bag on his ears so he could throw up right into it.
That reminds me...we need to get swords
Still in Rome. Hooked up with frat boy from SoCal that's studying abroad. He said he was 1/8 italian. I'll take it.
I didn't know how to tell her I was too busy getting stoned and making a baked potato to meet up and finish our group project.
Until then we have the self affirmation from retweets and nights alone with pizza..
My liver is crying. And I feel like I got fingered by Edward Scissorhands. While he was wearing brass knuckles
Hey. Me and my buddy are drunk. you wanna give us tattoos of the hawaiian punch guy we shall pay very well. Seriously dude. no bull shit.
My manager just held my hair while I threw up in a dumpster. New low.
First date was awkward. I think I just saw someone die.
Just wiped the ashes off my forehead before he came over to have sex. Definitely going to hell.
Just so you know. And I'm telling you this because I care deeply for you. Blue raspberry poptarts taste exactly the same as the regular raspberry ones.
Someone keeps hanging up bible verse posters in the bathroom stall I masturbate in at work.
She said she hasn't cheated on me in 7 and a half days and she'd like praise for that.
Crop dusting thru forever 21
Randomize
