I wonder how skeet ulrich feels about the skeet skeet phrase and and what it denotes.
Let's go to weight watchers and eat in front of them.
i think a pirate just stole the rest of our fucking beer. what an appropriate costume.
Sex should be hot, sweaty, messy, and a little painful. At no point should it involve tiny rocks
This is a mass text. Surprise drug testing at work today. Either I've finally got to fuck my boss or I've got to quit to make this all go away. Please respond with option a or b.
Apparently I was the fucked up drunk guy greeting people at the hotel in the lobby last night.
If taco bell and midol can't fix her, she's in gods hands now.
Where are you? I hear fireworks and you've gone missing. I'm sure that is not coincidence.
She needs sedatives and a leash
I made out with drunk Joe Dirt and then put his mullet wig on for him. True Halloween romance.
The guy that stalks me just looked out his window and saw me in his neighbor's hot tub. Get your shit ready the fraternity wars are starting.
his mom called during sex and he made me talk to her I think we're getting serious
You know something is wrong with your life when your mom is at the bar getting free tequila shots and you aren't
Had phone sex with my boss who I still haven’t seen in person. How’s your Monday ?
Regardless I WANT TO BE YOUR SEX DISPENSARY. that is like the career I was born for.
Randomize
