fuck, i never want to drink again I drunk dialed matt last night and broke up with him the second night in a row. FUCK QUADFEST
so the time management class we had to take for work seems to be working. I just beat off instead of waiting for gf to get home bc it fit my schedule better.
No. untill you have done a puke that contains nothing but semen and tequila, you do not 'feel my pain'
as you might have guessed from my lack of texts, the herpes have calmed down.
Both his mom and his sister were hitting on me when I stopped by today. He isn't a real friend anyway, right?
I come back home for break and my room is full of weed either my parents really love me or they are having more fun then I am in college
Just threw up. It looks like I may have swallowed a cigarette.
I lull them into a false sense of security with my gayness. Then when they're vulnerable, I strike, like a snake. A big non-gay snake, with huge balls.
nothing like a call from your drunk grandpa at midnight on a wednesday to ask your parents if you're registered to vote...
I'm reliable. I always make it home. I always throw up in the street too.
Blow jobs in the hobby lobby parking lot, oh lawd there gonna pray for me when they review those tapes ...
It reeks of weed and poor life decisions in here
im so drunk that this cat is mothering me. aggressively
It was a good thing I was on the balcony flashing those guys or I would have never seen her skipping to his car
guess who smoked weed with their grandpa tonight. and no it wasn't me.
Randomize
