We just watched planet earth in marine bio. And our prof told us that was all we were doing on 420
worse. her friends hid in the bathroom while she gave me head and then screamed surprise right as i was about to cum
He had to pee in the sink beside my head because the girl that I was taking care of was passed out on the toilet. To answer your question: yes i took a peek. Thats why we hooked up later.
so apparently mom and dad slept together on the first date
i guess it runs in the family.
What I thought it would be sexy pouring melted chocolate down here chest, ended up in second degree burns. Hot food and sex do not mix.
For your information i will be shotgunning whiskey on may 21st.
This is the weirdest negotiation ever.
This is what happens when two people with zero shame try to argue.
Alright dude i'm gonna go to go sleep off this soberness. my life is a cosmic joke
We dared each other to drink Arbor Mist, and I waterboarded someone with tequila.
OH HAPPY DAYS YOU'RE BOTH GINGERS YOU'LL REPRODUCE YOUR OWN KIND
So, this year for my birthday, want to get rip-roaring schmammered and watch my episode of my super sweet 16? We can do lines off my tiara.
shes on the ground doing bicycle kicks screaming "is my ass good enough for you now satan" send help
My life has turned into sitting in the driveway listening to Total Eclipse of the Heart while staring at the Blue Moon. Hey, August. Let's be nice. I need help.
Sexting is killing my work productivity but it's okay because I'm self-employed
I just want you to know that watching you throw up out of a cab in the McDonald's drive thru was probably the highlight of my night.
Randomize
