She does have a great personality.
Yeah, in her vagina.
I ate a lot of your sunchips. I mean a lot. Like 4 to 5 bags.
She stared for a good 10 seconds before calling my dick "awe-inspiring", and then proceded to give me blueballs. All in all the ego boost made my night break even
Yeah but he's impersonating a gargoyle jumping off of everything. Including the walls.
I am literally using a balloon as a pillow on a park bench.
I'm in the bar bathroom about to pass out. But it's ok cause I set my alarm to go off for last call
Just took 4 secret shots in his bathroom to not remember him naked.
This vodka tastes like I'm not going to class tomorrow.
It's just good to know that when I drink like a twenty year old I still act like one.
I rubbed his back while he puked for an hour and then ended up getting laid when I tried to put him to bed, best puke and rally I've ever seen.
My doctor actually said I was suffering from an "acute hangover" in doctor's note I asked him for....what a douche
He gave me a script of norcos and touched my balls so overall it's been a good day.
It was the easiest thing I've ever done. 3am she walked into my room, saw my Buffalo Bills blanket, said go bills and got naked.
I HATE HIM SO MUCH I HOPE HE GETS IN SOME WEIRD ACCIDENT WHICH MAKES IT IMPOSSIBLE FOR HIM TO NUT
Did you fill my inhaler with tequila?
Yeah, so?
Randomize
