wtf. i just found you're porn stash.
u like it?
NOT THE POINT.
Just heard the garage door open and I immediately sprinted to the laptop to erase history, even though I haven't watched porn today...I believe Pavlov now.
He doesn't need a wingman, he needs a miracle
at russian wedding, no open bar. bottles of vodka at table. getting to work tomorrow may be an issue.
Just because he saw my boobs doesn't mean he knows me all of a sudden
I don't want the last thing I hear while alive to be Jesse's Girl
Are you scared? I basically plan on us looking like giant drunk skittles
I just saw a group of 50+ year old women all wearing shirts that said "drink up, bitches" ...please tell me that can be us some day.
I dressed up as a breathalyzer test for Halloween; never had so many straight dudes blow me before!
I just need like a magic vacuum to suck everything out of me and then an IV to put good stuff back in
My lunch = taste testing salsas for A&P. They gave me a free 64oz grape juice as a thank you. So, now we have something to drink in the house. So while you are spending all the money on breakfast rolls and pizza for lunch, I'm cigaretteless and whoring myself for tablespoons of salsa and free juice.
Maybe if I get to know him I'll stop wanting to fuck his wife so much.
I just had sex with the male version of myself. looks, mindset, even our boob to dick ratio was the same
I was just dry heaving outside of the Chem building when a guided tour walked by. Welcome to the Maritimes kids...
I woke up with an eye patch on, someone else's sweatshirt on, and no pants on. I hope it was a good night.
Randomize
