Dude, I'm in her bathroom and there's crab shampoo... is it worth the risk?
You're missing what this discovery implies... she's got a fucking bush.
I wish there were wingman of the year awards.
the people going to church this morning while i was walking home did not seem as pleased as i was with how many beads i earned last night
is cock-oriented a word? I'd say I'm that lately.
She fucking ripped my chandelier out of my ceiling. How does that make her a keeper?
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Can we end it on a good note at least? Can we fuck and then never talk again?
I won't go into too much detail about this but you should probably wash your sheets. In bleach. Or just burn them. Thanks for letting me sleep in your bed bro. Enjoy scotland.
You're in the clear; you and Andrew did not joint fingerbang that girl on the dance floor last night.
I'm tired and starving, and I'm pretty sure I just cost the company 33,000 dollars...fuck you and you're "you'll love going to work high" nonsense.
Just took a piss in some random bushes in a traffic jam and had to sprint back to the car. I'm a boss.
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I'm at a restaurant. I am NOT about to discuss my asshole over the phone.
I rubbed his back while he puked for an hour and then ended up getting laid when I tried to put him to bed, best puke and rally I've ever seen.
You know we have no secrets, right? I mean, you saw me shitting in a gift bag drunk and naked on Christmas eve.
Then, even the devil himself would be scared of us. And we'd be bestfriends with Jesus. He would love us.
She made me keep my boots on and say "you're welcome darlin" after every orgasm......so yes it was an awesome night.
We were peeing side by side on the riverbank together and I felt like nothing brings you closer than drunken riverbank urinating so I caught her a friendship frog to wipe with since we left the tp in the canoe.
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