The girl sitting next to me in class is writing her to-do list under the title 11/31.
Hey guess what I got for Valentine's day? Debt and blue balls.
good luck with ur interview. Just show them your confidence and don't make that sucking snot noise. Really don't. Praying for you, love mom
no, no, no. omg. i said i wanted a SANDWICH! not a picture of your dick. damn cant you read? SANDWICH! now im blinded. great job.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This is a mass text: my birthday is tomorrow, and I want a full day of birthday sex. Send me your availabities. Time slots begin at noon
I gave you a 45 minute blowjob. You were inside me for 3 minutes. I'm going to need you to get your shit together.
Article 1, law 1, section 1 of the apartment 25 party handbook: tarp will be purchased prior to any and all future parties. Aforementioned tarp will be placed on floor. Any and all sick patrons must relocate to tarp preceding the event of expulsion of bodily fluids. Failure to do so will result in ejection of guilty patron and banishment of the accused from succeeding party. All patrons must read and sign a copy before entry is granted.
You need a Jiminy Cricket, but for sexual decisions.
just puked a little into my hand/sleeve. way too hungover for the first day of class
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Remember those girls from the bar? The tall and short blondes?
Is this a story I am going to hate you for?
College has done two things for me. Given me the confidence to blow my nose in public and shit in public
I just thought about how many drinks I had last night and threw up.
Just when I thought I was growing up, I go out and TOTALLY REDEEM MYSELF
Apparently she hired a private investigator when he took out a restraining order on her. So the answer is no, I didn't hit it.
I will not abuse the gift that was given to me
You were given a vagina and you abuse that pretty hard
Randomize