I found a pair of size 15 female undies on my floor?? is that big?
he just put it in my mouth and said "go"
Apparently I climbed into a dryer last night and refused to leave... There are pictures to prove it
I was born in the year of the cock... How fitting.
Is percocet and coffee considered a balanced breakfast?
What should we drink tonight, I'm in the mood to be judged
It's like I just got slapped in the face with the cock of nostalgia.
THAT IS NOT SOMETHING YOU TELL SOMEBODY THE FIRST TIME YOU MEET THEM IN THE DARK.
It's cool, I power napped on the dryer while they were fucking in the bathroom so I'm good to go now. Where are you?
Seriously, I woke you up with tacos, I think I deserve the best girlfriend ever award
What's the place called?
I searched "county" on google, but....there's a lot of results
The dog just shocked himself by peeing on Christmas lights, should I have saw that coming?
Is it bad that I have more guilt over drunk eating Doritos than hooking up with my ex's best friend last night?
Nobody's dick fell into my mouth tonight
Its official, kitchen-couch is my favorite.
You passed out again didn't you?
its likely that this occurred.
Randomize
