just saw Chris Hanson on the street. looked immediately around for video cameras. why is that my immediate reaction?
i just told a girl i would suck the alcohol out of a deoderant stick
she was so ugly that the sight of her made me shiver and then i had to play it off like a draft blew by that only i felt.
I was curling my hair today and I looked at my curling iron and thought...
You at least unplugged it right?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
guess they didn't have any donuts in her size.
Wow anytime a scalper has i need tix written on the back of a franzia box thats a trusted seller
This girl told me she was a virgin the other day. I felt like I was talking to a unicorn.
There's cake. And donuts. And strippers. It's like 5 year old me and 20 year old me are throwing a party together...
Ask him about a girl named Meg then give a disappointed and disapproving face.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's such a good feeling to send those "I'm not in jail" texts on Sunday morning
Somewhere in the night I send my Dad a text stating "YOU failed as a parent"
I am in macy's and just straight up heard an old lady taking a crap in her depends.
I am tired of banking on my penis size to overcome my lack of game.
I think were only still together so we can make each other miserable
were you aware we were supposed to be taking care of her hamster this weekend?
Randomize