Well all I remember is going to sleep being big spoon to you and waking up being little spoon to *****
2 v-cards in one night. impossible is nothing.
i had 75 notifications coming from ur status. here i was thinking i had friends.
I just remembered before I gave him head I couldn't find a hair tie and he offered to hold my hair up. Maybe we were wrong.. Maybe he does have a heart.
Just tried to fight the dj at cowboys because he would'nt play freebird. Pick me up now.
i woke up to him dangling his cock in front of my face
Well no need to be a stranger, even if you aren't interested in joining my bisexual polygamist marriage. New city, new friends.
You swear the intervention is for her? I've fallen for that one twice.
The bouncer called to give me my shoes back when I got there he said " I'm all cool with fuvking bitches but when you try to to do it in my bar on the pool table you're gonna get chocked out every time"
At least you got your shooes
It's been two days. I am still burping up jello. Everything tastes like jello. Everything smells like jello. I am DONE with jello shots.
I think pretend fucking a camel is a good thing to do downtown. They loved me.
If if makes you feel any better, you're definitely the hottest guy I've ever friendzoned.
Between this new vagisil cleaner and these cranberry vitamins, my vagina feels like a new women.
Sorry I punched you in the throat. You got in my way. You understand.
I think I ejaculated my soul out.
Randomize
