He ate me out. It was like watching him trying to win a pie eating contest
...She then said get into the spirit and started making firecracker noises while having sex
she's laying in my bed with an ice pack on her vagina. how do you think it went?
Threw a lawn chair at the neighboors dog. I think I killed him. Come here and assess this
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
trying to line up a DD for St Pats Day. i guarantee i will put out. or puke and pass out. really its 50/50 at this point.
Before attempting to fly away into the night you asked me to take care of your sister. I agreed.
Today I'm judging my level of singleness on a scale of one to eat-a-can-of-frosting. It's not looking good for me.
Ooooh. Get funfetti
Stoned in some guys basement listening to ELO. it's like its 1978.
The inside of my nose has felt like the guy's face falling off from raiders of the lost ark all week
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I mean with a sentence like that I knew I would be cumming
I just lit a blunt like right in front of an old man and I was like sir please shieldeth your eyes
I've amended my previous statement: I'm not allowed to put in my two weeks till I ask out the waitress. Now I have motivation on two levels
I'm stuck on a cliff. I'm not sure how I got here or how to get down. Please send help. And clothes.
Y'all let us switch shirts in the middle of 200 people....why did you let me get this drunk by noon?
my mom is drunk and is trying to get me to take a picture of her ass. what is life?
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