lesson #67 learned in college: a three day old margarita, is still a margarita.
I just followed up on a noise complaint...only to find 2 girls in bikinis covered in jello with beer cans everywhere. I couldn't bring myself to bust that party.
I want to be a cop.
I just saw the nastiest chick.
Where?
woke up next to her... fuck you jack daniels, fuck you
Ps I don't think it counts as being open minded if you didn't know he was missing a leg until you had already started making out.
So much for not drinking this week after this weekend.. Congratulations. U made it until tuesday.
Drinking with mariachis at jimmy johns.
Something's wrong. Everything's on fire. Unless it was like that before. Then everything's alright.
after I lost so many games of beer pong they made me be a troll, I sat under the table and told riddles while retrieving balls.
I woke up naked on my futon with a blanket half way covering my ass and 20 half eaten chicken wings on my chest... At 7 pm... That kind of day drinking
Waiting to interview and found a beer in my purse from last night
Defrosting my uncrustable with my laptop...Hungover dinner
In the middle of pounding my asshole he stopped and said, "do you want to get breakfast after this?"
Worst wingman u don't do ANYTHING but laugh at my incompitant shyness
Does the girl you just banged want anything from Taco Bell?
I'll get the most aesthetic strap on, you'll see
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