I know right? mind you this is the same woman who told me when I was 12 that oral sex just meant talking dirty
bro i finally banged her last night on our basement couch
I'm at this frat party right now and yelled "my little 16 year old brother finally lost his virginity." They gave you a standing ovation
It was 5 a.m. and we found him making margaritas with nyquil...
He tipped the stripper with quarters. After that not even the waitress would talk to us. I had to move to another table to get a lapdance
one of them held the wheel while the other one changed her pants. while driving. on the thruway. what
My mouth feels like I've been chewing on leather and firecrackers for the past 3 days
I find it very uncomfortable that I need to ask you to stop sending me pictures of your stomach
At some point during thanksgiving the image of me pooping on ur moms chest will come to you. Your welcome!
I was stuffing my vagina with gummy bears last night having him eat them out of me. Team Haribo for the win!
He's like a Lana del Rey song that took human form
Dude, I woke up with wet dollar bills in my boxers where did you take me???
All I remember is receiving a lap dance to slow motion.
I behisseth at your soul from the deepest darkest depths of the earth
Do you know how close I got to throwing him over the edge of the canyon?
i just watched a 27 minute video about owls...that high.
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