turns out I still hate jay leno...even at 10pm.
there was enough confetti in my bra to throw another NYE party
She told me she cured her bulemia by popping hydrocodone after she ate. that way she would be rewarded for not puking. I like the way she thinks
Word to the wise: do not smoke before going grocery shopping with only 12 bucks. So stressful.
it glows. i had to have it.
All i have left of him are the magnum X-Large condoms he left in my room, knowing full well that no other guy I hook up with will be able to fill his shoes. He taunts me.
hey watch out, they threw flour on everyone who passed out at their party last year.
I gave him 3 xanax and recorded the ball drop. He's gonna think tonight is New Years.
He stopped replying so I told him I got tested and it came back positive for chlamydia to see if he replied. His phone magically works again!
He should just accept that I want his dick and his friendship. Can't he understand that I don't do emotions?
I believe the question is can one ever have too many vibrators?
It's whatever. Titanic is about to be on and we have wine, which is basically crying juice. Leo, Kate, and I will be having a lovely, pants free evening.
Condoms and Ice Cream, that's all we need.
I had one beer! ONE BEER! They took shots in mourning of my tolerance last night. My ability to drink is a joke.
She was drunk running in the middle of the street when a cop saw her,picked her up and dropped her off at her house. This really doesn't surprise me.
Randomize
