Come on, it shouldn't be that hard NOT to suck someone's dick
So thats when I found out ur supposed to put the penut butter on your balls not your dogs balls, feels alot better
Never forget that any girl can get her way if she puts her vagina on the table.
It just hit me that i made out with someone's mom last night
Your brother came in a girls mouth for the first time last night... Ah the tales told whilst buying minors beer.
In your defense, I really thought capturing that alligator would have been a lot more awesome and a lot less tragic.
RIP Mr Bojangles.
Just saw 1 guy dressed as a cow and another dressed as a shrimp dancing on the side of the road. We're turning around I NEED to dance with them.
So how was your new years? Did u ride a horse at 3am in zero degree weather? Because I sure did
Nothing like coaching 5 year olds with a bunch of visible bruises from last night's drunk bondage sex.
I had a dream last night that I met Diplo. Now I'm just sad
I'm out of breath and my thighs burn but at least it's over.
Its not that hard to understand he's my holiday boyfriend, we ignore each other most of the year except on holidays when I give him head
Thanks for making me a drunk burrito last night and cutting it into bite size pieces, I always knew you were a keeper.
Im 76 percent sure I took a fully clothed shower last night.
im mourning your vaginas lack of frictional upkeep
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