I didn't shave. On purpose
69 |D_O
wtf does that mean??
it's a very specialized emoticon, means 'i heard you fucking some dude through my bedroom wall last night and so i listened intently"
So can we just skip dinner and I'll just pay you for a blowjob?
Don't tempt me, I need beer money.
It was one of those "since we're naked anyway" type situations
well when mom kept referring to my "black hole of a vagina" and how i devoured all the nuts at the party like i was a pro, i figured my stay was up.
in case you blackout.. this is confirmation that yes, you were sitting spread eagle on the kitchen floor chugging pickle juice out of the jar.
It wasn't really sex. It was just rolling around, trying to make sure his dick didn't end up in my ass.
The hot tub didn't work. But it's okay because we discovered just how many people you can fit in a bathtub.
I'm sure you can think of a way to make money.. God didn't give you boobs that awesome to waste them feeding your children..
I'm pretty sure that I drunkenly used the phrase "I just want his beard all over my body" way too many times last night.
There was a clear and well defined point last night where I could've decided to go home but no now I've woken up with glitter all over my nuts and potentially an std or 2
He left stubble rash on my thighs and cooked me bacon before 9am. I need to lock this down STAT
the bouncer just handed me a Starbucks bag of pound cake
I experienced pure joy just moments ago when I looked down and saw that I had another pop tart to consume down my mouth hole.
I just took a shot before my midterm. Gotta keep things in perspective.
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