He said I taste like butterscotch, licked me, then I'm pretty sure he wet his pants. So no, I do not want to invite him over.
As a matter of fact you told me i fulfilled your "woodshop teacher fantasy"
Hooking up with him would mean my type has officially become... drug dealer.
Found her. Shes unconscious up against the room door. Her credit card is in the keycard slot
You kept saying,"there's a seahorse in my stomach, who's trying escape". This was after the curtains attacked you.
It's hard being an adult. And by that I mean it's hard to tell the boy you like who rejected you that you can't share a room with him at white party because you don't want to see him bang other boys.
Hes drunk and dancing naked. I can hear his dick smacking his legs from the next room.
My car smells like beer, you're here in spirit
Well, when you bump into your parents at a swingers meetup, it's time to change cities
Found my id. It was in the cats litter box. Seriously what was last night.
I'm pretty sure the girl in the stall next to me is waiting on me to leave so she can poop but I'm doing the same thing so it's like a Mexican standoff
He kept telling me my vagina was a pleasure cave... I ended up just taking it as a complimetn
You texted him 17 times. Asking for him back and sending random pictures of Jimmy Buffett. He didn't answer.
He said 'I really struggle with the sin of lust' then we proceeded to have sex. So I guess it was a perfectly executed Catholic pick up line?
For a second I thought he was going to give me an intervention
You can't give interventions in a bar!
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