Shes from jersey what did you expect her to say when you asked her if she did coke? Its like asking some1 from a third world country if they are hungry
all i asked was if it was all the way in, and now im laying here alone. sensitive guys fucking suck
Hung over. Bed full of legos for some reason. Not getting up. Come build stuff with me.
Got a personal ride from safe ride. I was crying so hard. The driver said think of something happy and I said Disney. In which I sang him Aladdin. So I got home ok
There is a girl on the metro with no shoes and she's using a Crown Royal bag as a purse.
Woke up with a full plate of KFC next to my face. I didn't really question it.
Drinking ketchup directly out of the bottle does not make it tomato juice.
Uhm; your sign says 'Welcome to KFC' and for some reason I can't seem to open the door.
She told me I made the cut, and to write my name and number on the white board by the door. I was the 7th number down.
You called a girl at 4:30am to tell her "your pussy is my top priority" while simultaneously Urban Spooning late night cafes.
Just told my mom I need money for Molly. She was not happy
Is her dick bigger than yours?
We made out in front of everyone INCLUDING his girlfriend. And no one saw. THAT DRUNK!
Just woke up next to a hungry lesbian and a half eaten croissant on my stomach. Can you come get me?
What the hell was that?
Genius. It was sheer genius.
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