i told him to take shots to cure a hangover and he told me i was "walking the steppingstones to alcoholism"
We tried having a conversation with our noses.
i just realized why god gave us younger siblings....to DD for us when we come home for the summers
just once i'd like the "right thing" and the "topless thing" to be the SAME THING
He tied my whole arm, in its cast, to the headboard first. He mumbled something about safe, sane, and consensual?
in case you blackout.. this is confirmation that yes, you were sitting spread eagle on the kitchen floor chugging pickle juice out of the jar.
I'm sweating so much right now i look like Whitney Houston
Okay, who took a picture of their pubes shaved into a dragon on my phone and made it the background?!
YOU DID DRUGS AFTER A THREESOME WHO ARE YOU TO JUDGE ME?!!?
She just locked herself in the bedroom with an unopened bottle of wine and a steak knife. Unfortunately for her fingers, I stopped giving a fuck two hours ago.
It's not a real holiday until someone pees on you. Did someone pee on you?
And to add, there was a fat guy right next to me who, when the girls would shake their butts, he would let out a shrill xena warrior princess cheer
I'm way too hungover for life right now
You know your late night booty call was a huge fail when you go back to your car after it's over, and it's still warm.
Pretty sure this radio station is run by a cult. Good thing it's in Spanish, can't brainwash someone who can't understand you.
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