when I scratched it gently some sort of watery looking stuff came out...so then I just stopped thinknig about it.
How old was that tiny chick? she needs a lard iv.
I'm afraid that if I tell my sister I think Zachary Quinto is gay I'll have to put her on suicide watch for the next week or so
He yelled "HERE COMES THE WARMTH" before he pissed his pants. In front of the whole party.
You got ahold of his prescription papers and gave out prescriptions for cranberry and vodka
Played "Which Couple Will Take Me Home Tonight" at the bar last night... I can now cross three-some off my bucket list
He was sitting at the table eating ice and said, "I'm pretty sure everyone in my family has nipples."
No... No really he actually thought the condom was meant for his hand...
He is crying over the toilet and his friends just came in and tried to make him take another jello shot.
I'm not driving across town for three thrusts and an excuse
Oh no. Not her. Her personality clashes with mine in ways that would make me wanna beat myself with a stick.
Just gave my thesis presentation, pretty sure I made out with the admissions woman last night.
I've just been thinking about sangria a lot lately, like an adult.
My eczema on my back is flaring up so he rubbed coconut oil on it while we were boning down. If that's not a picture of 8 years married I dunno what is.
She's blowing me while I'm watching air jaws. I love shark week.
Randomize
