dude chill. it wont be anything like your seventh grade birthday party.
Dude pussy is like music. For every person who pays for it, there are thousands more getting it for free.
I only broke up with her because the ex sex is amazing. She will do ANYTHING if i even hint at getting back together
my mom just asked if she should wash your furry handcuffs with the lights or darks
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We played "race the Jimmy John's driver". Order, then see if we can finish sex before the food arrives.
its been so long even thinking about having a dick inside me makes me sore
I woke up with flowers, a tiara & pasta salad in my bed. Tequila makes me act like a fat Disney princess
We had a weird moment. Mid-sex he started talking. It went along the lines of "I. FUCKING. LOVE.....this condom..."
And then he said "if you were planning on bird feeding me that's not ok"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
when the repo soundtrack came on in the middle of us having sex i realized it was about time that i clear out my itunes library
Drinking hard cider in a room full of freshman girls. Never felt so secure of my manhood
I probably wouldn't
I just had a twenty minute discussion about endangered breed dog breeding with an Extremely drunk guy
So many questions...
Then a third Canadian I didn't know showed up to the hotel room at like 3am. I let him sleep in our bed because he had pizza.
No, I'm not a heathen. You two are the heathens, I'm the whore.
I had to explain to the doctor why I'm peeing blood. He still didn't believe a girl would have that much sex... You could feel the judgement forming in the room when I went into the details...
Damn, well a girls gotta get laid too
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