Uhhh...do I owe you any money? Or an apology? Or anything?
all I heard when I woke up this morning was "BONG HITS FOR BREAKFAST" being yelled repeatedly.
The bloodstain in the garden looks like a sad face. Like I don't already know this is bad...
all 3 of us brought blondes home last night. all 3 are passed out. we're gonna switch rooms and see how long until one of them notices.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No, my body just knows its the weekend and wants to rage. Very different from alcoholism
I just fucked my ex's ex's ex. Love quadrilateral complete
siamese drinking twins saturday is a go ... bring duct tape.
He burnt his arm on the grill, then turned around and started blaming it on the burger buns...I think it's safe to say he's drunk.
Except if I'm having sex. In which case you're in the bed with us or out of the room. No halfsie participation.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You're more than welcome to join us! There's red velvet cake and apparently my pants are open for business I didn't consent to this
drunk brunch me or lose me forever
What am I supposed to say? "Hey remember last spring when I did an ergonomic assessment on your office, well here's an ergo for your dick."
You can't just drop that I might be walking into a foursome and leave it at that
I'm soaking her vibrators in tabasco and wasabi paste. "furious" is an understatement
My "birthday sex" consisted of approximately 25 seconds of him going down on me in the shower.
Randomize