fighting downstairs. join me tonight to hear their makeup sex. also, let's make skittles vodka.
it would be nice to just get drunk, not hook up with anyone, and not die this weekend
When I come over I'm bringing "Socky" the Alcoholism Prevention puppet, today he is going to tell you boys about his FAVORITE word---its called "moderation"
God forbid we drive unregistered mopeds without license plates on a pedestrians only sidewalk without goggles while flipping off passing cars.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he said i balance and complete him. i feel sick
Her roommate "grounded" her because she drunkenly tried to fill their fish tank with vodka
Hey, remember when Hot Stuff played in the back of the ambulance? Or no, cause of your concussion...
There was just a girl standing next to me on the train, wasted, wearing only one shoe. I so wanted to pat her on the shoulder and say "oh honey, we've all been there"
You told me that you were mad me because I wouldn't let you 'explore my castle'. Then you said I smelled like a hospital and passed out.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The name of the man in your bed is not Ryan. I can't remember what his name is but that is wrong
You ripped my pants off and gave me the choice use it or lose it what was I suppose to do.
Do the right thing and go fuck yourself off a cliff
Waking up with cheese all over my clothes and my vibrator in my pants is a sign we drank way too much tequila last night
Like I thought me shitting my pants was bad today... Then the election happened.
I told her I'd rather set my hair on fire than sleep with her again. In retrospect, that was probably too harsh. My eye is still swollen shut.
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