all i remember is you climbed in a garbage can and said you were trashed
so my car got towed last night. I didnt know it cost 118 dollars to have a college experience
Was waiting for the adderal to kick in then realized I had been brushing my teeth for eighteen minuites
at least you got your priorties in line. new years first, than the baby.
He's having sex with his gf again. Every thump of his bed against the wall is insulting to our one night stand.
ok perfect im about to bedazzle our mini keg named hans. he is ready to rage
BEST FEELING EVER: Standing in a hot fucking shower, while super baked, while eating a cookie.
You eat cookies in the shower?
He came for an unexpected visit and let's just say I shattered his illusion that girls don't watch porn
Finals drinking + forgeting you had to take your ambien because you work at 6am mid paper= drunk logic which then entails going on a "detox" run. Puking your guts put in the field house bushes while some random guy says to you "its okay. We're marching on."
Life is my bitch right now. The bouncers tried to carry me out of the club, but everyone thought I was crowd surfing so everyone carried me BACK IN. Winning as fuck.
All I'm saying is that if you have time for a 20 min shower bj you have time for me
Update: That guy is no longer in the restroom, so he's probably not dead.
It's a good thing my liver is flexible because a lesser man would be dead
He is currently passed out on his toilet. Point day drinking.
I wanted to give everyone gifts as they left the house... So when your wondering where most of the christmas ornaments are I'm really sorry.
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